Garfield vs Heathcliff is the thirty-eighth installment of the Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons series and is the fifth installment of Season 3. It was released on September 2, 2014. It features fat, lazy orange tabby Garfield rapping against orange, smart street cat Heathcliff.
Let’s just get this over with, my lasagna’s getting cold
Heathcliff, you can’t do anything to this, my rhymes will be gold
People like you should be dragged into the street and get shot
Your popularity has been left to rot, stop thinking you’re top, dawg
I actually have a home, while you’re an alley cat in the streets
You in the mafia or something? ‘cause you just syndi-cut your defeat
Call me fat all you want, I can tell if you're bluffing
I hate you even more than Mondays, and that’s saying something
Stepping up to me? What a big mistake you've made
Once I've finished with you, you'll be more than just afraid
This orange fat cat needs to stop with his disses
You’re pissing me off, you need to stay out of the kitchen!
You’re just a lonely emo freak, that needs to lose some pounds
This is my street Garfield, I’ll be taking you down town
It’s over for you kitty, I’m the new cat they adore
You’re out of business, because nobody reads the paper anymore
I’m not overweight, you see, it’s called being undertall
You really been lacking lately, oh wait, you were never funny at all
I wanna sleep, but I can still battle you while I'm dozy
I would prefer you to shut up, your voice annoys me more than Odie
Been loved from comics to CGI, you're just a borer!
You've been naughty Cliff, go back to the kitty corner
You act like a mutt, so you better grab this bone
I’m lovable, you’re just the pussy version of Al Capone
You need to stop eating all that lasagna, I mean what’s the dealio?
You can never beat me, my rhymes are as hot as Cleo
Just like Doraemon, I have a girlfriend, you got no friends, this’ll be your end
All your popularity is just pretend, that's something you can't defend
I’ll be hanging out with Marmaduke, and I don’t mean to be rude
But when your 2 movies came out dude, I knew you were screwed
What's the matter fat cat, you're looking pretty pale
I think you're upset, ‘cause you just Gar-failed
Time for some Funny Cartoons, it’s Tom and Jerry
Are you bitches ready, ‘cause it’s about to get funny!
I’ll have you Laughing at the end of this, leaving you a bunch of Kids
It's true that we'll stab your leg and throw you down the stairs, you're losin
DON’T YOU BELIEVE IT?
Stimpy: Oh, joy, Ren! Let’s wreck this mic and destroy these two teens Their sense of humor was the worst we’ve ever seen All you do is stuff your face with nachos, you don’t have a hint of class Get your finger out of your nose and realize you won’t ever pass Get back to Burger World, since you can’t even beat me I can’t believe your show came back after your series finale!
I am so popular, scoring hits on the Tiny Toons
I’ve beaten Garfield And Tom, now they’re through!
Suffering succotash! Sylvester is here to abuse this Cat, I'm sure
Time to Get down Tweety Bird, it don't look good for this verse
Don't make me angry, or I'll make this whole scene violent
You're gonna end up like the music of my episode, well Bart's credits
I'll bang you like a guitar string, and the Fur I will taste
I'll kick your ass to Hungarian, where Where I Was there
Nobody watches your shows, this gory cat will make a mess
This episode ends now, and you won't be coming up next